The Future of the American Family

I have seen the future and it's this adorable family.


Last night was Toad Suck's first annual zombie walk. It was a beautiful event. There was unity and peace. Everything I wrote about zombies in Brains is true. I thought I was making shit up, but I wasn't. The horde was calm, walking the streets in an orderly fashion. Admittedly we were slow and awkward, but the mood was gentle. I felt a kinship with my fellow zombies. I felt like I belonged.

Here is but one example of the tolerance of zombies:

Mark went as a Sleestak. At first I thought he would be ostracized, made fun of, cast out for being alive. Not so. The zombies loved him. In fact, so much that those with the ability took his photo. And that's the kind of tolerance America needs.

Zombies are dead. Long live zombies. I love my undead friends.

A Good Week for Zombies

It's been a great week for zombies.

First, I watched Otto, Or Up With Dead People, the radical Bruce LaBruce post-modern arty gay zombie movie, which was a blast. It had a film within a film structure and the interior movie was a hilarious and pretentious film about the oppression of gay zombies--shot in black and white with lots of cliched art school touches. The larger movie was about Otto himself. The viewer never learns if Otto is really a zombie or just crazy and/or suffering from an existential dilemma. Dead inside and so acting dead on the outside. This movie is not for everyone--there are some graphic sex scenes complete with gore--but I liked it.

Then I read from Brains at the Faulkner County Library dressed as a zombie! And people came dressed as zombies, which was shocking, thrilling, and exciting. There was a zombie haiku contest. Winners received books and bloody severed fingers. There's a review of it here.

Finally, I was interviewed by PBS at the end of the summer--and the episode will air October 27 at 6:30 and October 31 at 10:30 p.m. Just in time for Halloween!

And oh yeah, Halloween is almost here! I'm thinking about going as a 1970s victim of Jason, inspired by Friday the 13th Part II which I watched a part of the other day and was delighted by. Happy Weekend!

Faulkner County Library with Zombies

Pic is of me right after the Zombie Apocalypse. Things were crazy and blurry during that time.

I was secretly hoping that my last post would result in some free swag from Fluevog. Sigh. No such luck. I still love them shoes, though.

Anyway--this Thursday, Oct 21, at 7:00 I'm be reading from Brains at the Faulkner County Library. More importantly, I'll be dressed as a zombie. Be there or be eaten by a horde of zombies. Or by me. There will be a book giveaway--and Halloween candy too!

If you come as a zombie, you get a free book. However, zombie attire is not required for entrance. Here's a link to a fun article about it. Nom. Nom. Nom.

What I learned from Hell House

Last night I went to Eternity House. Here's what I learned:

1. Satan wears tennis shoes and has a lisp.

2. Chili is evil because you never know what your step-dad might put in it.

3. Doing the locomotion is evil too.

4. Faulkner County Sheriff's vehicles are available for many events.

5. Chick-Fil-A is the fast food of the faithful.

6. If a pretty young woman rolls her eyes during Bible study, she will burn in hell for ETERNITY.

7. If you drink beer, you will burn in hell for ETERNITY.

8. You can burn in hell for ETERNITY for being a snot-nosed teenager!

9. ETERNITY is a very long time.

10. In heaven, angels lip-sync while dancing with their hands.

11. Heaven also has a cheap fountain and twinkly Christmas lights.

12. Hell is a pretty cool disco with black lights and neon colors and hot guys writhing in cages.

13. The good die young.

14. God is overly judgmental.