Conway Twitties

There's nothing better than being in a crowd of sweaty strangers jumping up and down to sloppy rock played by inspired amateurs. It's the closest I get to transcendence.

I've been in bands since I was nineteen--the first one was called Acrylic Switch Plate. We lived together in Philly, we needed a switch plate, we went to the hardware store, checked out the packaging and there you go. I played drums--sort of. All I had was a snare set up on kitchen table. From there I moved to Austin and a full kit.

Next I played with the improv slop-rock outfit Thanatopsis Throne--our bass player was Jon Torn, Rip Torn's son. No shit. Then I moved to bass. Now I play guitar.

Others bands since then: Happy Birthday, War Baby; Blok Krang; Miss America--whose bass player hanged herself and ended the band; Bug Wonders; Horselover Fat; Ross Beach and the She Devils; Fingerhut; Instruktor; Imminent Victorians; HappyAss; Pussy Posse; 18%; and now the Conway Twitties! (I know I've missed a few--I can remember the song titles--Surfing with my Colostomy Bag comes to mind--but not the band names.)

Camille Paglia calls rock Dionysian and a force that changed "her" generation. But Paglia wasn't talking about women in rock--she's only concerned with men's work, lauding their painting and architecture while completely ignoring women's work: pottery, weaving, cooking, decoration.

But women wield guitars like looms! We sing in high-pitched voices...about toes! And worms. And blackberries. I'd rather hold a guitar than a cradle. Cuz my cradle does rock.